I woke up today well in time for work. I brushed my teeth, took a long bath, and got ready for work feeling very clean and fresh. I drove my car at a healthy 60 kmph speed as I had sufficient time to reach work. It was a great start to the day. What made it perfect was the conversation my wife and I had yesterday on an important issue, and that made me happier than anything ever could. However, when everything is going right, something somewhere will go wrong to spoil the party.
The refinery where I work has two gates. The first gate is just a metal gate with no electronic scanners. As we enter the second gate of the refinery, the employees punch in their ID cards before scanning their fingers on the fingerprint scanner. Today, as I got out of the car and approached the punching booths, I noticed a colleague of mine doing something peculiar. He had almost half of his index finger inside his nose. It seemed he was almost picking his brain through his nose. Just before reaching the punching booth, he pulled out his finger wrapped in snot and other stuff, and placed it on the fingerprint scanner. Of course the scanner failed to recognise anything over the layer of green goop. So he cleaned it up on his shirt and tried again. Failed again. He tried it on the next booth and the scanner recognised him.
I, on the other hand, forgot which scanners he had used. There were four of them which gave me a probability of fifty percent to come out clean. I also had a fear that I might touch the first scanner he had tried which would give me a feel of his fresh snot. As much as I liked hanging out and being friends with my colleagues, sharing a snotshake was not very high on my list of things to do. Thankfully, I avoided the ones he had touched and got my finger scanned.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I told another colleague the whole ordeal and how I had avoided the snot. To my horror, he pointed out that the other scanners might have dried up snot from other employees and all my efforts might have been in vain after all. Realising the validity of his logic, I made a mental note to purchase a jar of hand sanitiser as soon as possible. As I am typing this on a public computer, I can’t help thinking about more snot on the keyboard. I am not sure who I am more mad at, the snotster or the colleague whose profound insight has opened the Pandora’s box.
Someone save me.
P.S. Wife came up with the pun at the top