लालू रिटर्न्स और मैं

If you have even a feeble interest in Indian politics, you will die laughing while reading this brilliant piece.


मेरे जैसे अपने को बुद्धिजीवी कहने वाले अक्सर राजनैतिक चुप्पी साध लेते हैं. ये कह कर कि इस देश का कुछ नहीं हो सकता. लोगों ने देश से भागने के चक्कर में जी जान मेहनत की, जुगाड़ लगाए, और नेताओं नें ये रोड, वो इंडस्ट्री खड़े कर दिये कमीशनखोरी के चक्कर में. मज़ाक मज़ाक में देश टैलेंट की खान बन गया, और विकास के हिलोड़ें लेने लगा. इसी धक्केबाजी में मैं भी बिहार के एक गाँव से उठ कर अमरीका रिटर्न डॉक्टर बन बैठा. पर इसका सारा क्रेडिट महानुभाव लालूजी को. भला मोमबत्ती में पढ़ने में जो शक्ति थी वो ट्यूबलाइट में कहाँ? इधर उधर ध्यान हीं नहीं जाता. कागज पे एक गोल प्रकाशित क्षेत्र दिखता, उसके अतिरिक्त सब अंधेरा. जूही चावला की एक तस्वीर दिवाल पे लगा रखी थी. अंधेरे में बिल्कुल भूतनी नजर आती. ऐसे डरावने माहौल में तो आदमी दो ही चीज़ें पढ़ पाए- एक सामने रखी…

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33 thoughts on “लालू रिटर्न्स और मैं

    1. Haha. Sorry for that. I didn’t upload a transliteration as I did not write the piece. Besides, it’s quite long and transliteration for the whole thing would have killed me instead. As for the content, it’s about regional Indian politics and the return to power of a controversial, yet funny, figure.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ohh. It’s okay. I’m not sure if I know a lot about Indian politics. Pakistani politics hi sar kha laitay hain Indian ko tou rehnay hi don tou behtar hoga 😅😆

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I do have feeble interest in politics and a lot of interest in Hindi and even greater interest in humour. So I shall have a go at reading this. Since you were cruel enough not to post a transliteration, I shall be asking you words I don’t understand. Let’s see how much time I take figuring this out. Right now it’s 11:42 pm Australia time. Leggo.
    11:42 What’s buddhijeevi?
    11:43 Raajnetik?
    11:44 Hilorey?
    11:45 Mumbatti main shatri. What’s shatri?
    11:45 Prakaashit shetr
    11:46 Atriritr?
    Break time. One para over. Juhi Chawla LOL
    11:47 Jirah?
    11:48 Kantsath?
    Second para over.
    11:49 Baansgiri?
    Third para over. That was quick. Maybe its getting easier. Or maybe I am skipping hard words.
    11:52 Ardhantgath loongi-gamcha?
    11:53 Vidooshak?
    Fourth para over.
    11:54 Raashtriya sahish something?
    11:55 Aarakshit?
    11:56 Dalbadloo pravootri something? I could be wrong. the matras mess me up. Also waaka shaatri? That whole sentence. What did that mean?
    Fifth para over.
    11:57 Mantramughd?
    11:58 Paartivaad?
    Sixth para over
    Seventh para over yaay.
    11:59 Itihaas?
    This para though. Killed me.Hardcore deshi jugaadoo.Ab yeh Vamagandhi jaaye toh kahaan jaaye? Pakistan hahahahaha
    Eight para over
    Waaah kya baat kahi.Yahaan phoote ya Pakistan, khuraafati log toh khuraafat karenge.
    Its 12:02 and I am done woohoo. Gave me a few chuckles and even greater regret of not knowing my own language to grasp the essence of humour in it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha well he gotta suffer for taunting us that look I can read Hindi and I am laughing here but you peasants can just sit and scratch your heads wondering what the joke was? So I was like nope, you gotta suffer too 😛

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Anyway, I’ll try to answer your queries. Otherwise, you and the others might curse me to hell because let’s face it, I always make such hue and cry over tough Urdu words. Since Hindi is not my first language, so I often find the meanings from the context. Therefore, some of my interpretations might not be correct. Toh khair here it goes
      11:42 What’s buddhijeevi? = Means intellectual I think (not sure)
      11:43 Raajnetik? = Political
      11:44 Hilorey? = lool I don’t know vibrations?
      11:45 Mumbatti main shatri. What’s shatri? = Shatri? Don’t you mean Shakti? And you must know the meaning of Shakti I suppose.
      11:45 Prakaashit shetr = The illuminated area
      11:46 Atriritr? = You mean atirikt. Atirikt means additional
      11:47 Jirah? = I have no idea. Argue or debate I guess.
      11:48 Kantsath? = Memorised
      11:49 Baansgiri? = I think it’s Boss-giri. There’s no n sound
      11:52 Ardhantgath loongi-gamcha? = Hahahaha, ardhanangna means half naked. loongi and gamcha pehenne wale half naked log
      11:53 Vidooshak? = Joker or jester I think. Not sure again
      11:54 Raashtriya sahish something? = Sahishnuta means tolerance if I’m not wrong
      11:55 Aarakshit? = Reserved
      11:56 Dalbadloo pravootri something? I could be wrong. the matras mess me up. Also waaka shaatri? That whole sentence. What did that mean?
      = The sentence relates to the whole paragraph. Means the author stood up for religious tolerance during the whole Babri Masjid incident but he had to face opposition for that. So he escaped beating due to his fickle nature and oratory skills (I hope Dr Jha forgives me for this blatant translation attempt. I could be miles from shore haha)
      11:57 Mantramughd? = Enchanted? (Pata nahi for sure)
      11:58 Paartivaad? = Belonging to any particular political party
      11:59 Itihaas? = History

      Uff I’m done. Happy?


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