Stranded

So, the other day I bought a journal. It’s a Pierre Cardin one, with a green leather-like material on its cover. The decision to buy was impulsive, with no rational thought whatsoever. It cost me approximately 400 rupees.

Now if you are anything like my friends, you will ask me the same question they did, “Dude, you spent 20 times more money on a notebook because it looked pretty on the outside and had a fancy name engraved on it?”

Normally, I would retort that it’s called a “journal” and not a “notebook,” you simpleton! But I won’t, because I would be lying. Beneath the veneer of sophistication, lies regular old paper with regular old lines. So who are we kidding? It’s a notebook as in notebooks usually are in general terms of speaking. Then the question arose: what do I do with this thing so as to make it seem like a worthwhile investment to my friends.

*Ting* Write nonsensically abstract poems, of course. Of course. I will then say this is where I keep my art. No one questions art. They will think, “Oh, I don’t have a clue what he is talking about, but I’m sure it’s something that transcends my levels of comprehension. And it’s great that he keeps something so beautiful to record his creativity.”

With that crooked thought in mind, I made the first entry into my “journal.” Here you go:

Do not leave me marooned 
Out on this lonely isle. 
No one to tend my earthly wound
No one to share my painful smile 

A place it is for fulfilled lives
A place it is for happy souls 
But the essence on which my being survives 
Cannot be nurtured by its worldly goals 

Can’t you take me there, where
Time stops and prayers pass?
Past the need for things to repair
Past lands beyond the Looking Glass

Where neither hope nor despair live
Where tranquillity and peace lie
For I cannot find the will to forgive
That which made you immortal, 
and left me to die. 

And just so you know how regular the paper looks, here is a click:
DSC_0154
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77 thoughts on “Stranded

  1. Beautiful handwriting, Ershad… and it is nice that you keep a journal. I envy you, I used to love writing too. Now that my goddamned hands don’t work, it breaks my heart to see such a beautiful hand.. I wish I could write once more ..
    Good one, little brother 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Arey bhai pehli entry hai. Never owned one till now. The other day, my friend and I got talking about what we did when we were in school or during adolescence or even three years back. We realised, we had forgotten most of the things. That’s when I thought, I’d start writing a journal. But like I mentioned, my friends and I found faults in that too. Man, we are a weird bunch.
      I hope I can maintain one in the future. At least, I will have some clue as to who I have to ask for forgiveness before I die.
      Thanks bhaijaan for the nice compliments. And don’t think about that stuff. Your words are more beautiful than how you express them.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Take care, man… I am a little exhausted right now.. will write to you later.. I turned 43 today.. irony!! Life went by and I don’t have any journals left.. haha… but I do have lots of regrets.. and mostly because I always used to say I never regret anything.

        Take care.. will see you around some time soon. Just plain dead on my feet.. a week of getting back into software consultancy has just about killed me.. I remember now why I used to stay away from it. My obsessive work habits end up killing me 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, hey! Happy Birthday old man! Haha, just kidding KT bhai.
        You can start maintaining a journal from today if you like. Name it 43 and born. Or something more creative.
        And get some rest. You deserve it. Will see you around.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Haha… chal be… buddha hoga tera….

        and I used to write diaries a long time ago.. until it became proof of all my sins hahaha.. and my wife could not stop laughing at some of the things I had written in the past.. so no more diaries for me.. 🙂

        See you around… no rest apparently.. have to go shopping for groceries.. even my birthday does not prevent my wife from bossing around 😀
        Ciao, take care.. chotu

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Haha, thank you Sana.. appreciate it..

        You too take care.. and it might sound nice now.. but when I reached 40 it gave me a bit of a shock… I was wondering if I would ever grow mature at all.. suddenly it seemed stupid to be so frivolous 😀

        Liked by 2 people

      5. Thank you 🙂 Actually, extremely unwell which is a reminder of my age, sort of, at the moment 🙂 So your words would be a little ironic. Been in terrible pain the last two days so I am sorry I could not reply earlier. Difficult for me to sit up too. So, thank you… take care..

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Thanks, Ershad.. sitting up today.. but I will probably regret this. I have been in bed the last two days and could not bear it anymore.. so got out.. but I am going to regret this.. LOL.. have to crawl back to bed soon..

        Liked by 1 person

  2. First of all, I love fancy notebooks too and I buy em with no clue on what to write in them. Scribbling in them almost seems offensive to the visual beauty that it offers.
    Second of all, your poem speaks to me on so many levels. And thirdly, your handwriting. Let’s have a moment of silence. A moment of awe. What a beauty masha Allah!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m using this compliment from now on. “Let’s have a moment of silence.” Although I suppose my wicked mind would use it in its pejorative sense rather than the noble way you expressed it. I’d be like “Oh, I don’t like this post, but since I follow this guy, let me add a comment.”
      All kidding aside, thank you. The handwriting is a hereditary gift from my mother. Mine is nothing compared to hers though. Hers is what you can really say Masha Allah!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahaha you are evil.You really are.
        Aaah no wonder coz us ladies are the experts in handwriting and then you break that stereotype too! I would love to see hers if she has. Also I want to see your Hindi handwriting coz mine is real bad given I write just my name to show off my Hindi skills to my friends. So if you might be writing a kavita anytime soon, I would be interested.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. That would be awesome. So she used to write too? Guess you got that from her as well 😛
        My mum has a beautiful handwriting as well but the only writing you will see are chemical equations and moles and all chem talk given she is a chem teacher.
        Hahaha same😑 My letters slant towards the left dunno why.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. No, not write in the literary sense. Hers are mostly political science stuff. But I love looking at the notes she used to maintain.
        Woah chemistry teacher ki beti? Hahaha. And here I was ranting against chemistry.
        To the left? One of my best friends has that “condition.” We’d often say to him, “Okay, you’re weird.”
        Haha, just kidding.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. My mum wrote heaps of notes too for studying and teaching. Her notebook was as fat as the CBSE textbooks of science and I used to tell her to publish it and earn good money 😛 plus she wrote beautifully so she could charge extra.
        Hahaha yeah I didn’t want to tell you but it came out. And you are not the only one. Everyone hates it and rants about it to my face. Just like Pakistanis bash Indians verbally to my face forgetting I am Indian. Its cool. I am used to it.
        Geez, you and your friends make fun of anything and everything eyy?? I like how you say in the end just kidding like you are scared of offending the female species haha. Dw I don’t mind.Larki hoon mazboot dil ki.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Seriously though. If that uncle I was talking about ever came up to you and said “Chemistry is in your blood,” it will be actually true. What a thing that would be.
        Yeah. We are kind of like that. Most of the stuff I write here mirrors the stupid conversations we have. I bet if those guys wrote too, they would have more posts than I have with far more humour. But those idiots are too lazy.
        Haha, okay. Abse nahi bolenge. Mazboot ladki hai. Ambuja cement se jo bani hai. Just kidding…not!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. OMG that’s the reason I don’t tell anyone who my mum is. Only my friends know. Their parents don’t and I made my friends promise not to tell elders. They already lecture me about not being a doctor, I don’t want to hear anything more And I have studied enough chemistry for lifetime thank you very much. My kids won’t be suffering the same fate as me. I shall make sure of that.
        Aaah yes I bet. I had a few classmates like that back in Dubai. Kids who teachers hated but students loved. Who made class fun with their slapstick comedy. The backbenchers. I am stereotyping aren’t I?
        Hahaha so funny…not
        Also I just realised I call you Ershad and not Ershad bhai as per desi standards. Here in Aus we call our teachers by first name and I am used to calling by first name, something that caused my grandma a heart attack coz rude. So my apologies bhaiyya.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hehe, I sympathise with you. My father used to be great in maths back in his day. And that example was always shown to me while growing up. Of course, not by my parents, but by these stupid uncles and aunties.
        You are stereotyping, but it’s also true. 🙂
        Nah, don’t worry. I don’t call people bhaiyya or didi (or dada and baideo respectively as we say over here in Assam) either, unless I’m related to them or really close to them.

        P.S. Or unless they are from the medieval period like KT.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. My dad is great at maths too!! He is an accountant so yeah. Haha yup, uncles and aunties. Nothing better to do than to tell people what they should do.
        Awesome. Good to know. In my fam we have to call whether related or not 😦 Otherwise uski larki ko suna kitni badtameez hai. Australia se aayi hai aur dimaag kharab hogaya. Koi tahzeeb nahi koi lihaaz nahi and on and on and on.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Hahahaha OMG yeah I remember the Imam of the mosque near my grandma’s house in India. Weirdest Allahu Akbar ever!! I miss the Imams and Azaans. We just have an azaan clock at our home here. And yesssss post toh banta hai boss!! Can’t wait coz I already know I will be able to relate haha.

        Liked by 1 person

      10. Hahaha yeah. Oh well just say Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah tauba mere tauba 3 times and you will be fine for making funs of Imams who are closer to Allah almighty.
        Geez I already sound like an aunty even though I promised myself I will try hard not to. 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      11. 😀 Excellent advice. Although considering the number of people I have made fun of all my life, including Imams and muezzins and maulavis, I might have to spend the rest of my life doing tauba 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      12. Hahaha oh man!! Same here. Its not funny unless you don’t mock someone. I feel I am compromising my values that I have been taught to not mock anyone but then its not fun anymore. Hayye tauba mere tauba!! 😛

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well ,you want to make girls jealous here with your nice hand writing huh! ,a Nice poem and a nice journal. Sometimes you need to feel the paper,pen and the words..cannot really come onscreen. I like it too, but it is for my everyday use ,I have a small diary with me everytime 😀 Good Luck with your journal!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, hehe, thank you. I hope I can actually make the proper use of the journal.
      A diary is a great thing. But I’ve never maintained one because I worry that someone might read it and all my terrible plans would be discovered. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Just the handwriting itself is so poetic
    I would be terribly ashamed to show you the state of my notebook!
    Having said that I have a beautiful journal my daughters presented me with. You have inspired me to start using it….though it will be a finished poem…my drafts are way too messy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for that great compliment. 🙂
      My writing doesn’t always turn out like this. You should see my chemical engineering notes ugh. But writing on paper has its charm. My mother tried to teach me calligraphy with traditional bamboo-made quills when I was a kid. For some reason that didn’t quite work out.
      Do use your journal. My drafts are always messy too. And mostly my notes are on my phone.
      Again thanks for the great comment!

      Like

  5. I hope my comment says what I want to say about this poem. First, it’s beautiful.
    Second, please come to stanza #2. How it shifts, that.
    I lovee lines 7 and 8. Then the image of a place where time stops and prayers pass is something where one would honestly find themselves stopping, in awe.
    And lastly, the final three lines. Ye nahi bata sakti but it’s like, the best. Tone of a rebel. Only for the godly. Copying these to keep. With your permission?
    All in all, hidden in your light-humored note about the journal (which was fun to read– oh and I LOVE diaries. Matlab I cannot resist pretty journals at all), this piece was amazing. AND YOUR HANDWRITING, LIKE, HOW? Your signature at the end too. Fan.
    Aur if I don’t sound stupid already, I liked the no one questions art part too, and wanted to mention it. :’)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All right, where is that cookie I saved for the best comment ever. Shoot, I think I ate it. I’ll get you one for sure. A whole box of cookies. Or chocolates or whatever it is that you like 😀

      Aur I’m so impressed by how you read those lines with such detail and how you expressed what you felt about them. You need to teach me how. I’m usually at a loss for words when I want to express something in appreciation of something. I usually end up with a goofy comment.

      Of course, you can keep it. Permission thodi na chahiye.

      Par yaar journals are too mehenge. Like I could have bought 20 big packets of Lays chips with that money 😦
      Haha, thanks again for all those compliments. You can see how happy I am as I’ve already wrote an essay.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha. Sure you could’ve got 20 big packets of Lays but unhy dekh ke koi oh it is great that he keeps something so beautiful…etc. nahi kehta. Simply le leta.
        Also, what about a cookie and a box of chocolates, please? 😛

        No seriously, this was woah.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi! I always buy random expensive stationery stuff too after thinking for a very long time about what I could do with it and then I can never use them! I have such beautiful annual diaries with me and I’ve never even written my name in them! I wonder where I’ve kept them safely.
    That poem is so beautiful but I’m sorry the handwriting takes away all the attention. It is worth mooning over. How many cursive writing books do you finish practicing in, in a month? 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I am like you. My father always gives me these great diaries every year that end up getting lost in my shelves.
      Thank you so much. I am trying to come up with a witty reply, but your sincere comment has left me speechless. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, shut up. I was having trouble concentrating last night as I was watching this fight these two goats were having on TV. Man, those animals need to be taught other moves. They only know to raise their front hooves (do goats have hooves) and strike with their heads.

        Like

      2. So you’re saying you were speechless because of the goat fight rather than my ‘sincere’ appreciation! Gosh! You really suck! And yes, I believe they’re called hooves. I wonder how long you’ll be speechless if you watch goat sex!! Do a goat post next 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahaha, no. Your sincere comment made me speechless. The goats made me thoughtless. You know goats aren’t that bright and watching them cannot sharpen your brain.
        No, no. I love goats. I cannot berate them. Those cows on the other hand. Chewing and mooing. Ugh.

        Like

  7. saniamumtaztahir

    What a pretty handwriting!
    Mine looks like wild dog with broken paws ran wild with a pen.

    P.s. love for good and pretty journal is real. So no money spent is too much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you. You are too kind. I’m sure you are exaggerating but that comparison is interesting. Haha.

      Oh, I don’t know. I could have bought so many q-tips with that money. But I guess I don’t need to clean my ears as often as I have to write. So you could be right. 😀

      Like

  8. Utopian ‘where mind is without fear’ theme scribbled on a notepad which shows elegance not only with Pierre Cardin watermark, but writer’s flawless imprints with feminish cursive scribble. The way you build the aura, you have traits of best-selling author. Keep flowing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. 🙂
      Haha, nothing more till now. I don’t want to ruin it with scribbles. I have been working on a few things, which I hope to put in the journal.
      I suppose the “journal” purpose of the journal won’t be fulfilled, but who cares 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Looool I almost forgot about the actual post laughing my head off at all the comments 😀
    I didn’t have internet access for a while and then now I do and I’m catching up on stuff as I suppose you’ve noticed 😛
    Awesome! Honest. Like you’ve had loads of appreciative comments so I suppose you know that by now. Maybe it’s time for an Oscar 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, my comments section should be a separate blog. Everyone finds their funny bone when they comment and makes it a great read. I think in future I might add a little statement at the top of a post. “Okay, that’s it. Now check the comments. ”
      Yes I was wondering where you were these days. It’s good that you are up and running. I mean your Internet, not you.
      Haha, Oscar? Not Nobel? 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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